For They Were Mothers

I wrote this poem in late 2022, attempting to capture the experience of the modern mom raising her children in the age of school shootings. 

As I set off for a chill jog around the track at my gym, my thoughts began to wander. A few months prior, myself and some people I love had been put in serious danger that could have been prevented with a common-sense gun law. Randomly I wondered how quick I could get to my kids in the gym daycare if there was a lockdown. 

I became frustrated that these were my thoughts on my leisurely jog. My jog became an angry run (IYKYK). Sucking air, I turned off my rap music, and this poem poured out of me. 

While this piece is specific to the role of a mother, I hope it will resonate with any and everyone who pushes for meaningful common-sense change. The specific viewpoint of this poem is a reflection of my personal experiences and not meant to be exclusionary. 

Now, if you have a minute to indulge me further, I’d like to go verse by verse and explain some of the more artistic aspects of this piece. Before we begin, take note that each verse ends with a role that we fill as caregivers to kids.   

For They Were Mothers

Our new normal, death unavoidable

A lie to stagnate

More weapons, tall walls but they were

Too wise for the bait

For they were scholars

The poem begins by addressing the lies often weaponized around this issue. The use of scholars as our role was vital. Because we are scholars, we know that deterrents, such as the ones mentioned here and others, while helpful in some ways, are not cures. 

We know about shootings like the Pulse Night Club, where, prior to his attack, the shooter pushed his weapons in a stroller around Disney Springs (at the time Downtown Disney) until he saw law enforcement and left. We know that he next went to the Pulse Night Club where he killed 49 people and wounded 53 more. 

Because we are scholars, we know that deterrents have not “prevented” anything if they only push an attack onto our neighbors.  

The role of scholar here, also sets us up for the next verse…

Who knew before Liberty and Happiness

Comes a right to Life

With a list of names who’s right was taken

An addendum that amends them

For they were patriots

In our role as patriots (the use of this word itself holds much meaning), we delve into the founding documents with a strong focus on chronology. 

Our Declaration of Independence (signed in 1776), states that we all have unalienable (not able to be taken away) Rights, specifically listing three - Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. While the Declaration of Independence has proven to be not legally binding, it serves as a reminder that a right to Life is at the very foundational core of our country. 

Additionally, it is curious that in the God-given rights listed in our country’s founding document, Life is listed first, coming before Liberty or Happiness.

More noteworthy still is that the Second Amendment which protects the right to bear arms, was not ratified until 1791, fifteen years after our founding fathers had written that we have a God-given right to life. 

And so we have an addendum to our Constitution (the Second Amendment), which some interpret as sufficient to amend away the God-given rights of others.  

Even when our list of “names whose right [to life] was taken” only grows. Even when our list of names includes countless additions in mass. Even when our list of names includes children in their classrooms. Somehow, even then…

This verse gets to the heart of the question, “say a person has a violent past or suicidal desires, is their right to bear arms more Divinely appointed than the right of a school child to live?” 

Love and passion fought money and pockets

With time against them

Betrayed by those they trusted

With a meaningful check

For they were electors

This verse speaks to the political climate and elections that are at the crux of our gun violence crisis. 

The fight for common-sense gun laws is a battle where one side is impassioned caregivers (and other individuals), who want their selves and loved ones to be safe or have already lost loved ones, and the other a multi-billion dollar manufacturing industry. 

The “check” referenced here has double meaning and the stanza is meant to be read two different ways. Electors trust elected officials with their vote (which is actually a filled in bubble on their ballot rather than a check but I digress…). So much hope and trust hangs in a vote from a member of the gun violence prevention community. 

Meanwhile, many elected officials are unwilling to advocate for common-sense gun laws because of the support and, more specifically, the monetary donations they would lose from the gun manufacturing industry. Thus, they betray American’s for a written check.

Under stars they soothe fears of monsters

As they loath monsters of power

And the armed horror they birth

Who come for the one they comfort

For they were guardians

Generally I try to avoid calling others names such as “monsters,” so this verse required some consideration. Ultimately, it was clear that this poem was one of emotion and I decided to allow my feelings to be unbridled. 

Caregivers today have first hand experience of comforting their child while their own stomachs are twisted in knots. 

Some debunk fantastical fears of aliens or zombies while a voice in their head whispers, “kid, what you should really be afraid of is…”

Others reassure kids that they are safe at school while a voice in their head wonders, “but what if…”

It is understandable then that caregivers, after they’ve grappled with such realities, pass character judgments on those who have power to help yet refuse to do so for personal, career, or political reasons.

They leaned on each other, held their wounded

Casualties real and unseen

Sisters in arms

Locked in a war for peace

For they were comrades

Some in our community have invisible wounds - trauma from a past event, intrusive thoughts at drop off, burnout from advocacy work.

Some in our community have visible wounds - an empty seat at dinner, a polished stone in grass, a grief so deep that photos of them can be easily identified as “before” or “after” their loss. 

Together our “wounded” and our not-yet-wounded face combative confrontations in an effort for less violence. 

And the world is ironic. 

When one stumbled, another lifted

One rested, one carried

One cried, one held

For they were whole

We aren’t alone. We need each other. 

Be engaged. Connect with organizations pushing for change that will decrease our gun violence and make our world safer.

Do it for your kids. Rest when you need to. Carry when you can. 

Change will come when, collectively, we prioritize it. 

Fueled by something stronger than life

The life of their young

An intensity unrivaled, impossible

So we won

For we are mothers

I believe the day will come when the gun violence in our country is dramatically decreased. Our kids, or perhaps our kids’ kids, will look back and be like, “remember when mass shootings were happening all the time yet we still didn’t pass gun laws for several decades?! That was wild! So glad to be alive today!” 

This belief is a choice and I choose to believe it because hope is powerful. An understanding that things will change keeps us moving, attempting to hustle that day along. Hope is contagious and leads to a more engaged community.