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Emily Romrell

Author, Mom, and School Safety Advocate

Hi, I'm Emily. I'm a mom to young kids - and I know how heavy it feels when the world changes faster than we can explain it to them.

When my oldest was starting kindergarten, I knew she'd need me as she experienced lockdown drills. I searched everywhere for a book to help but nothing felt right.

So I wrote the one I knew we needed.

You can read more about the book here.

Mrs. Paula Simcox, first grade teacher of 25 years

"Listen, Run, Hide is well written with a twist of humor while addressing a serious subject. It gives teachers and parents a safe and non-threatening way to bring up a difficult subject."

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You want to walk your child through lockdown drills.

But you aren't sure what to say - or what not to say - to keep them safe. Plus you don't want to terrify them.

This book will help.

Learn More

Listen, Run, Hide

School Safety Advocacy that Matters

Along the way of writing my book, I learned about a vital tool that is preventing school shootings around the US - Anonymous Reporting Systems.

Realizing that my kids’ schools didn’t have one, I approached administration to convince them of our needs and the solution. Within months we had one up and running!

Now I want to help you get your school this same resource. Watch for my guide launching soon and binge my social media content to learn more in the meantime.

Here are several, non-leading, questions to ask your child after they’ve done a lockdown drill.

These give your child lots of space to share as little or as much as they want to. Of course you don’t need to ask them all of these questions. Just pick one or two that feel natural to you.

And the biggest thing is to remember to listen to their responses and let that guide the conversation. 🥰

👂What did [you, your friends, your teacher] do during the drill?

👂What did your friends say about the drill?

👂How did you feel during [or after] the drill?

👂How would you explain the drill to a new student who had never done one before?

👂Did anything surprise you?

👂Is there anything you wish had been different?

👂How are you feeling now?

I know how much it sucks that you can’t erase this issue completely from your child’s reality. I feel that to my core too. 😡😭

And while you feel that, don’t underestimate your ability to buffer your child’s experiences. Research shows over and over that children cope with adverse events so much better when they have an adult they can be open with.

So keep going. Your child is lucky to have you! 🫶

And if you don’t feel confident talking specifics of lockdown drills, check out the children’s picture book at the link in my bio.

The research on whether lockdown drills do more harm than good is mixed and it really depends on who you talk to.

But there’s one detail that everyone on both sides of the lockdown drill argument agree on… that lockdown drills should always be announced in advance to students and teachers.

But so many schools are still doing surprise lockdown drills because they believe it will “promote better readiness.“

This goes against recommendations from school safety experts and it also goes against the data.

There’s lots of research we could discuss, but let’s talk about the one you probably didn’t see that was published last fall.

Researchers found that lockdown drills are linked to lower level of fear for oneself and one students, as well as LESS belief that a school shooting is possible, but ONLY when controlled for previous violence exposure.

In simpler terms, this study found that lockdown drills can decrease teacher fear, but only if teachers with a history of violence-related trauma have the ability to opt out.

Going back to surprise lockdown drills, how are you supposed to opt out of something you don’t know is coming?

The slower pace for schools makes summer the perfect time to bring this up with your principal. Sometimes just one conversation is enough to change things.

Comment “transparency” and I’ll DM you an email template to get the conversation started. (But I don’t have automations so be patient because it’s really me, not a robot, DMing you 😘)

And hit follow to learn more.

And we’ll get into the WHY behind these questions too!

1️⃣ “Do you tell students and families that a lockdown drill is going to happen?”

💡Telling students that a drill is just practice removes trauma, builds trust for real emergencies, and is strongly recommended by SRO and other organizations.

Plus it gives families a chance to connect before and after the exercise, adding vital support for children doing them.

2️⃣ “During the drill do you check that the lock is working? If so, who does that?”

💡 Checking that the lock works properly at this time makes a lot of sense. But doing so without telling our young kids about it unintentionally adds SIMULATION (🙅‍♀️) to our drill. I’ve had multiple young adults tell me they remember their doorknobs being jiggled during the lockdown drill “so they’d know what a real lockdown would be like.” 😭

Find out who checks the locks and then tell your child the plan. This way you connect the dots for them in a less traumatic way before the drill even starts.

3️⃣ “How do you end the drill?”

💡 Best practice is to specifically state that the school is done drilling for the whole day. This removes confusion if an emergency did occur the same day. It’s a lesson learned the hard way from parkland. 😭

If we haven’t met, hi, I’m Emily. Here to help you 1) be your child’s biggest support as they grow up with lockdown drills and 2) ensure your child’s lockdown drill experience is as good as it possibly can be. Follow along and let’s help them where we can! 🫶

The fact that these drills are a normal part of childhood is genuinely sad.

If you’re like me, you’re a mom who likes to be open and honest with your child, ESPECIALLY about hard topics, because you want them to come to you with questions or worries.

But lockdown drills are the one area where you know your child is being impacted but you’ve got your head in the sand and are just hoping for the best. 😬 (No shade sis because this shouldn’t be a part of your parenting journey! 🫶)

But now we’ve met and I’ll help you start supporting your child in an age-appropriate way that teaches safety and still reinforces that special trust you’ve worked so hard to build with them.

Hit follow and then let’s get into a few quick tips for talking to your child about the drills they’re doing.

1. Put it under the umbrella of safety. We wear helmets and buckle seatbelts. We do fire and earthquake drills. Lockdown drills are just another thing we practice just in case and the need for one is very, very rare.

(You and i know why these feel different and heavier, but for your young child, connecting all the “just in case” experiences can help shield them from things in the world that are too heavy for them right now.)

2. Change the vocabulary you use when explaining why we do these. When you’re talking about gun violence with an adult, you probably use the term “shooter.” Obviously that’s scary and graphic so just use “bad guy” or “person who shouldn’t be here” instead. Chances are good your child’s school is using something similar but you can always ask them if you want to be consistent.

3. Remember you don’t have to share everything. It’s developmentally appropriate to keep it simple and avoid oversharing. Plus, just like other hard topics, strive for small conversations when needed that can grow and evolve with your child. We don’t want one big scary conversation.

This is a good starting point, now follow along for more!

#momaccount #momlife #momsofinstagram

And now talking to your child about safety is as easy as story time. And not just the basics of safety either. But in this book we get into the nuances.

It will help you teach your child that:

• Nothing is more important than their safety.

• Breaking rules and social norms is okay in an emergency. (I DOUBT YOUR CHILD IS GETTING THIS MESSAGE FROM ANYONE ELSE BESIDES YOU.)

• Following your directions immediately will help them stay safe and you promise you’ll find them and explain everything later.

• They can come to you if they feel nervous or with any questions about safety.

The illustrations were HUMAN-MADE by @theswimmingowl. The design and layout was also done by a human, @battistellidesigns. Editing by a professional (human) editor that isn’t on socials. (Weird, I know.)

The instruction taught in the book was guided by top leaders in school safety with a foreword by the Creator of the FBI’s Active Shooter Program, @kateschweit

And all of this printed on a high quality, offset printer. (I avoided print on demand services because I knew this book needed to feel just like the other ones on your shelf.)

Grab your copy at the link in my bio.

#momtip #momlife #parenting

I noticed this was a major problem after speaking to several young people who grew up with drills and they told me their school used to jiggle the locks so they “would know what it would be like if a bad person actually came to school.”

I’m sorry… What?😳

Now, chances are good that that was never the intent of school administration. Many schools jiggle the locks during a lockdown drill because they are checking the functionality of the lock.

It’s a great idea AS LONG AS… we tell the students who is jiggling the lock and why.

I’m willing to bet these schools never gave a reason for the door knob jiggling. They probably never realized how students were interpreting that noise.

But when we consider the child’s experience, and then simply tell them who is checking the lock and why, we move away from simulation.

(Simulation = ❌ and is not necessary for an effective drill.)

Think of what a different experience these young people would have had if a school employee had simply said, “now the janitor is going to come make sure our lock works.”

That’s all it takes to prevent them from connecting dots on their own in a way that is scarier than necessary.

If you know someone who works in a school share this with them and hopefully they’ll have luck adding transparency in this way. 😊

#momlife #mominstagram #momhack #parenting

Thank you to the Dems for trying to add an aspect of adult responsibility to this bill!

And as a parent I’ll never passively wait for public policy to catch up and protect my kids. 🫠

If you’re the same, cool! Glad we’re connected. Don’t forget to hit follow. 🫶

I’m sorry. This reel was probably disturbing to see and not what you were looking for when you got on to scroll. It was tough for me to make it. But it is important.

I don’t share this to say it’s a success story, because a real success would be children growing up free from gun violence and safe at school thanks to reasonable gun laws.

But I do share it to say IT MATTERS that you talk to your child about their safety.

The chances of your child ever being in a situation like that are so slim.

But even still, when they’re growing up in the climate they are, why WOULDN’T you have a conversation to tell them:

• Breaking rules is okay if they feel unsafe.

• Running away from a dangerous situation is okay, yes even if they don’t have adult permission.

• Hiding if they feel unsafe is okay.

• NOTHING is more important than their physical safety.

Literally no one will teach them about their safety like you. If you need help, grab the child psychologist-approved book in my bio.

#momsofinstagram #momgram #momlife #childsafety #fyp

In the comments, tell me how many incidents you originally guessed for the 22 potential school days. 🫠

We haven’t met yet so, hi. I’m Emily. Your new friend that’s here to help you navigate raising your children as they are surrounded by gun violence. 💔

One thing I do is help parents like you explain lockdown drills to their child in a way that 1) supports them and 2) teaches them to put their safety first.

It’s not the solution to our gun violence crisis, but it can help your child. With their physical safety, yes. But also, just as important, with their emotional safety.

On this page we also talk about the need for your school to have more transparent lockdown drill procedures so that you know what is happening and when.

Finally, I am passionate about spreading awareness of Anonymous Reporting Systems, a tool that can and has stopped school shootings before they’ve even started.

In case you’re wondering, I’m a huge proponent for stronger gun laws. I hate that my children are growing up like this and I hate even more that we can’t pass simple things like safe storage laws.

Follow along to become a more informed, valuable resource to your child and their school.🫶

#schoolsafety #parentingtips #momgram #momsofinstagram #ptamom

In the comments, tell me how many incidents you originally guessed for the 22 potential school days. 🫠

If you follow me it means you care about your kids safety and you want them to turn to you if they have questions or concerns.

You’re one of the good ones. 😘

If we haven’t met yet, hi, I’m Emily. I started studying best practices for talking to young children about hard topics during my undergrad in elementary education.

I had a global children’s literature class, and our semester project was to pick a topic and read literature from around the world on it and then write a paper. My peers chose “friendship,” “holidays,” and “going to school,” while I chose (at the suggestion of my teacher) “war and violence.” 😬

It made my presentation a little bit awkward compared to my peers, but I learned a lot!

I’m passionate about this because, when something bad happens, how we handle (or completely avoid) conversations with children makes all the difference.

The research is indisputable that when children have a grown-up, they can talk to about the hard things they are experiencing, they not only have less anxiety, but they also become more resilient in the long run.

That’s why I’m on a mission to help YOU handle conversations about lockdown drills with your child better. 🫶

But anyway, back to the reason you’re here, my top tip for talking to kids about hard topics:

✨ focus on the helpers. Was it Mr. Rogers that first taught us this? For lockdown drills this looks like pointing out:

All the safe teachers and staff at the school

All the neighbors you pass during drop off and pick up that you don’t know, but are actually kind and safe people

All the police officers who work every day to keep our communities safe

The goal is simple… Help them see there are more good people in the world than bad.

There’s a lot more I could say about talking to kids about hard topics so follow along to learn more.

@alinawritesbooks speaking the words that we are all thinking.

No one WANTS to talk to their child about lockdown drills. It shouldn’t be necessary because they should just be safe at school.

It’s hard to even think about it, let alone talk to your child about it.

But when you push through your own discomfort and bring it up to your child you:

• Show them YOU can handle the conversation,

• Give them a place to offload their feelings, and

• Continue building their trust that they should come to you for anything having to do with their safety.

Plus there is the huge added benefit that no one is going to teach your child about their safety like you.

Grab the book that will help you master one of the trickiest safety conversations at the link in my bio.

#kidsbook #bookonsafety #childrensbook

Pretty things from a pretty artist 🌷🌻🍁🪾

@theswimmingowl is the illustrator of my book and my family and I love to buy her coloring books when they come out.

For her most recently release, we bought one for each of us cause we’ve been here before and know how it goes. My kids were so excited when I pointed out each scene is in the book four times, shown in each season.

Melanie, you’ve knocked it out of the park again. Congrats! 🎉

Did you see that third-to-last story about the teen that stopped a school shooting from 800 miles away?

If we haven’t met yet, hi. I’m Emily. Your new friend that’s here to help you navigate raising your children as they are surrounded by gun violence. 💔

One thing I do is help parents like you explain lockdown drills to their child in a way that 1) supports them and 2) teaches them to put their safety first.

It’s not the solution to our gun violence crisis, but it can help your child. With their physical safety, yes. But also, just as important, with their emotional safety.

On this page we also talk about the need for your school to have more transparent lockdown drill procedures so that you know what is happening and when.

Finally, I am passionate about spreading awareness of Anonymous Reporting Systems, a tool that can and has stopped school shootings before they’ve even started.

In case you’re wondering, I’m a huge proponent for stronger gun laws. I hate that my children are growing up like this and I hate even more that we can’t pass simple things like safe storage laws.

Follow along to become a more informed, valuable resource to your child and their school.🫶

#schoolsafety #parentingtips #momgram #momsofinstagram #ptamom

My kids had a fire drill the other day. It’s kinda weird because school is out for the summer in like a month.

But also, even though I was surprised, I SHOULD know better than to BE surprised. 😆

Because schools practice safety throughout the whole school year. Yup, even down to the last weeks.

That means, it’s never a bad time for you to ask questions.

Here’s the ones I’d start with (like this post and save it so you can find it later):

• Do you notify students of a drill before you conduct one? (The answer should be “yes!”)

• Do you reassure students during the drill that it’s practice? (Again, looking for a “yes” here.)

• Do you provide an opportunity for teachers and staff to debrief together afterward? (This makes the drill more effective as well as provides support to our educators.)

• Do you clarify that you are done drilling for that whole day? (This is a lesson from the parkland shooting where a fire drill earlier in the day confused people 😭)

These seem straight forward but so many schools lag behind the times. I’m working on a guide that will help you advocate for emotionally and physically safer schools. Stay tuned!

Until then, hit save so you can find this later.

People often comment about the lessons in my book and how they can help kids be safe. And they usually say something super kind like, “that’s so important!”

But safety is only one reason I wrote this book and I wouldn’t even say it’s the main reason.

The main reason is knowing your child will cope better as they grow up with gun violence if they have YOU!

Research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child found that the single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable, committed relationship with a supportive adult.

But what keeps YOU from becoming your child’s number 1 support person?

Uh… it’s a freakin hard conversation, that’s what! 😫

You’re probably worried you’ll say the wrong thing and make your child terrified of school.

Or that you’ll accidentally teach them something that ISNT the safest option.

Or that they’ll ask a question and you’ll be stumped and they’ll read your fear off your face.

I worried about alllll of that. Then I wrote my book so you can do better than me. 😘

Grab it at the link in my bio.

#momlife #momsofinstagram #safekids #fyp

If we haven’t met yet, hi. I’m Emily. Your new BFF that’s here to keep you plugged in JUST enough to navigate raising your children as they are surrounded by gun violence, without totally tanking your mental health. 🫠

One thing I do is help parents like you explain lockdown drills to their child in a way that 1) supports them and 2) teaches them to put their safety first.

It’s not the solution to our gun violence crisis, but it can help your child.

With their physical safety, yes. But also, just as important, with their emotional safety.

Studies show that when a child is experiencing something stressful in their life, having just one adult that they can talk to about it helps them cope better in the moment and also builds resilience in the long run.

On this page we also talk about the need for your school to have more transparent lockdown drill procedures, a functioning anonymous reporting system (that prevent shootings!), and more.

Plus, we do quick news roundups like this one that help you operate with a full understanding of your environment without being totally overwhelmed. If you want more details on a story shown here, you can look it up. Otherwise, you get the quick hits just enough to not be gaslit into thinking you’re crazy when you talk about this issue.

Follow along to become a more informed, valuable resource to your child and their school.🫶

#schoolsafety #parentingtips #momgram #momsofinstagram #ptamom

This trend is so sweet and with how heavy my content can be (about preventing or diminishing harm from school shootings) I thought it would be fun to join in. A perfect excuse to look for the positive. 💕

If we haven’t met, hi, I’m Emily - on a mission to raise awareness about anonymous reporting systems because they can prevent school shootings.

Also here to help you support your young children as they grow in awareness about violence at school. Research shows your support plays a critical role in how they cope. It’s heavy, but, with support, you’ve got this!

Hit follow to learn more!

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